If i live to be one hundred
Will you love me just the same
Even if i can't remember
Who you are or know your name
If i live to be one hundred
I won't need a steady job
Just a nurse who feeds me tapioca
Won't let me eat corn on the cob
Oh, look at me - feeling older than history
And it's a contemplating mystery
Why i'm not dead and buried
If i live to be one hundred
Will i have teeth to hold your kiss
If i can still play my piano
I'll sing you a song just like this
If i live to be one hundred
Willard scott will show my picture on tv
Right next to a jar of smuckers
A word that nothing rhythms with
Oh, look at me - such a figure of humanity
A hero all the world just loves to see
This line i can't remember
If i live to be one hundred
Won't need viagra anymore
Won't be eating buffalo wings
Or know my way back from the store
And if i live to be a hero
I'll be one hundred years, galore
Celebrating all the good times
I can't remember anymore