Both:
You and I are
So awfully different
Too awfully different
To ever be palls

Stewie:
Do you want to go first?
Brian:
Yeah, I'll go
Brian:
Your favorite hero is the marquee de sad
Stewie:
Oh, you're one to talk, you get a stiffy from phylicia rashad
Brian: Oh, one time

Stewie:
I've a style flair, just look at my hip hair
Brian:
Oh, yeah, that's quite a nice do there
Stewie:
Oh, thanks
Brian:
For me to poop on
Stewie: What?
Brian:
Oh, come on, you look like charlie brown
Stewie:
Bite me snoopy

Both:
Theres not
A whole lot
That weve got
To agree on

Brian:
'Cause I like the strains of a classical score
Stewie:
And I like that singer who looks like a whore
Brian:
Rickie Martin?
Stewie:
Luv' 'em
Both:
Were too different to ever be palls

Both:
You and I are
(Doo, doo, doop)
So awfully different
(Doo, doo, doop)
Too awfully different
(Doo, doo, doop)
To ever be palls
(Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, dooyadoo, doop)

Brian:
Your head's as massive as a meteorite
Stewie:
Oh, very funny, you have a weenie like a Christmas tree light
Brian:
I'd bet money
You'll marry a honey
Who's pretty and funny
And her name will be ted
Stewie:
Oh, a gay joke
Brian:
I just work with what you give me
Both:
You might think we're N'sync, but we stink! As a duo

Brian:
Because you get a kick out of carnage and guts
Stewie:
And you get a kick out of stroking your
Brian:
Whoa, whoa, you can't say that on tv
Stewie:
What ego?
Brian:
Nevermind

Both:
We're too different to ever be palls!